Stay at Home Mom.com

This is a total cliche and I say it every summer…but it is hard to believe it already 4th of July weekend. We have 4 kids and the oldest are now teenagers, so they really love celebrating 4th of July with things that explode and make loud noises. It’s a great opportunity to teach them about safety but you also have to watch your kids like hawks for weeks before and after the 4th.

As a rule, my husband and I try to meet the parents of all of our children’s friends. But this is especially true if our kids are going to spend any time over at their friends homes. We always find out if there are guns in the home, are there working parents (meaning no one there right after school), do the parents drink socially (meaning access to alchohal in the house), is their car safe to transport kids, is there a pool, animals in the house (we have cat allergies), single parents… the list goes on if depending on that gut feeling we get as parents.

But during the weeks surrounding fourth of july there is an added element of danger - unsupervised fireworks.

It is not always easy being a “parent”. It’s easy to be your kids friend - kids are great and they look up to you and you have a receptive audience to all of your stale old jokes. But the kids have lots of friends and they need you to keep them safe. So, the thought I keep running through my mind, especially with the teenagers, is that they need us to use as an excuse against peer pressure. We give them the guidelines of what is ok or not and they can in turn tell their friends that it is their boring parents who won’t let them participate. I was a good kid when I was a teenager but most of the trouble I got into was just from being at the wrong place at the wrong time. So, we have to help our kids steer clear of those situations.

This is not an easy task. It’s a challenge. Especially if you live near an Indian reservation where BIG BIG BIG fireworks can be purchased.

So, here was my parenting challenge this last week that has got me thinking about how to keep my growing kids safe. A couple of weeks ago one of my teenage sons asked if he could go to a movie with a group of friends. He did get home before curfew but he didn’t give me many details about the movie. I wondered if something was up but I thought maybe he was just more interested in some of the other friends that were there with him at the movie than the actual movie. But, then last night, it happened. We were watching tv together and a commercial for that movie came on TV. In a moment of forgetfullness he said “I’d really like to see that movie”. I said “Again?” and he said “What?”. I guess I should be happy that he is so bad at lying. I reminded him that he had seen the movie a couple of weeks ago. He was baffled - he remembered telling me that he had been at the movie - he knew he had been caught in a lie ealier this year - and he I could see his little mind trying to think of ways to avoid punitive damages from this faux pas.

This is a big challenge. I remember giving my mom vague details of where I was going. But I am supposed to have learned from that experience and now 25 years later be the best mom I can be to my son. It is not difficult coming up with appropriate punishments but the difficult thing is to be the good parent and help him grow up to be a man with integrity who is a man of his word. I can see right now with this “opportunity” that he can learn something from this. But I’m not exactly sure how to parent properly through this challenge. I want him to know there is unconditional love here but there are also rules.

A few weeks ago I met a new neighbor that had just moved in a few blocks away. She is in her 20’s and has two very small children that she stays home with (yay). But one comment she made really struck me. She is working with her husband to renovate this old house they moved into and with two small children it is a challenge. She said “when they get a little bigger it will be so much easier”. I didn’t really say anything at the time but I did remonisce about the days when the challenge was to communicate with kids who have their own language and they don’t always know how to express their needs - how do you anticipate every danger around the house to keep them safe. And I realized that description still fits my kids even now 14 years later. 14 years ago, I got very little sleep and was always on alert to watch for the open gate at the top of the stairs, or the uncovered electrical outlet. But I look back on those days as almost “easy”.

I know intuitively, the best thing my husband and I can give our kids is that knowledge that they can totally count on us. But I am in a totally new arena, and even though I was a teenager at one time, I am wondering if I will know the right thing to say at those little moments that matter the most.

Keeping our kids safe and letting them become responsible adults so that when they have kids we can spoil the teenage grandchildren. Not such an easy task.

I have been celebrating fathers day for a little over 40 years and never knew this. But now thanks to Wikipedia we know the origins of the day.

The history of Father’s Day is very interesting. The thought for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. The idea of having the Father’s Day came to the mind of Sonora Smart while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909.

After the death of her mother, she along with her siblings was raised by her father, William Jackson Smart. Sonora wanted to tell her father how special he was. Sonora’s father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father’s Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

The National Father’s Day Committee was formed in New York City in 1926. A Joint Resolution of Congress recognized the Father’s day in 1956 and in 1966 President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father’s Day to be held on the third Sunday of June. Thus, the Father’s Day was born in memory and appreciation by a daughter who believed that her father and all other fathers should be honored with a special day.