Stay at Home Mom.com

what do you do when your kids are rebellious to the parents?

There used to be a debate among parents - to read or not to read. In the past, parents might find a diary in their kids room while the parent was helping this kid clean their room (while the kid was at school of course). And the dilemna was “should I read the diary or ‘respect’ my childs privacy”.

Diaries are now essentially a thing of the past replaced by blogs. So, no more debate. Anything posted on the Internet that can be freely read by millions of unknown surfers can absolutely be read by Mom and Dad.

Letting your kid know that you will be reading their blog is also a good way for them to self edit. I have heard interviews with kids who have their own space on the Internet that they felt as though they were just writing for their friends to read and if a few other kids happened by their space that would be harmless. The only problem with that thinking is that once they post their inner thoughts and party plans for just their friends then those thoughts and plans become information for the masses. When they knew their parents would be reading their pages then they tended to tone it down. One girl I heard interviewed even said she didn’t think her Mom should be reading her blog because it was ‘like totally an invasion of her like privacy’. Crazy.

So, once you have established that you will be reading their blogs then read them. It is GREAT. Even though my sons blog is “P” rated (appropriate for parental viewing) I still love it. I have learned more about him and about his peers from reading his blog than I have from a years worth of family dinners around the kitchen table. It tells me so much about him just by his choices of topics to discuss let alone the actual topics which I would have totally missed if I were just surfing my usual favorite sites.

Even when your kids get to be taller than you and they seem to be becoming young responsible adults holding down summer jobs and learning to drive, they still need your guidance. They seem to have no fear or skepticism about preditors on the Internet. I highly recommend Parry Aftab’s site Wiredkids.org. Here is a link to a story from a 14 year old about her experience online:
Teens - Article

The other day we were musing about how as moms we can set the whole mood in the house. When we are upset and stomping around, the kids begin to start stomping around. Well, here is more scientific proof that we have a huge impact on our kids, even if we’re not trying.

“ALBANY, New York (AP) — Mom’s dieting habits can have a bad influence on the children.

Research indicates youngsters learn attitudes about dieting through observation. For some youngsters, that might mean an unhealthy fixation on body image, experts warn.

“It’s like trying on Mom’s high heels. They’re trying on their diets, too,” said Carolyn Costin, spokeswoman for the National Eating Disorder Association.”

Read the entire article: CLICK HERE

When my kids were babies I was basically up all night. And somehow I did it. Finally, after hours of rocking and reading stories and feeding and rocking again I would get my baby to settle in for the night. My kids were all very good sleepers and really started sleeping all through the night almost right away. They were also huge babies when they were born so this might have helped. But even still, even though THEY were sleeping through the night did not mean that I could. I would wake up on the hour to go to their crib and just make sure they were ok. I was a new mom and wasn’t quite sure if it was normal for babies to sleep through the night at such an early stage. Was this normal? Were they ok? Was I doing everything I could to keep them safe?

Fast forward 15 years. My baby is now 17. His younger brother, my baby, is now 15. Their younger siblings, my babies, are 8 and 10. Now I get up in the middle of the night to make sure they are sleeping through the night and not slipping back down to the family room to play a midnight game on the computer or watch some scary movie into the wee hours of the morning. I stay up late to make sure the older boys (with girlfriends) get home by the designated curfew and that they are ok. I am up at night in a pool of sweat because my babymaking days are nearing an end and I am slowly moving into the next phase of my life. (That’s another story for another post).

At a recent social event I was talking to a younger mom who had two very small children and she was talking about her lack of sleep and how she had to watch out for her children all the time and how much easier it was going to be when they got a little older. I didn’t want to tell her that it really doesn’t get easier. It just changes.

The following week I was talking to another friend who has kids in middle school and she had started working at home when her kids were little so that she could be with them. All along she had plans to go back to work when the kids got a little older - when it got easier. But she found, as I found, that as they got older they needed us just as much to be there for them. The other day my 15 year old brought his new girlfriend over to the house to play Dance Dance Revolution and I was glad that I could be home to make sure there was adult supervision.

So, basically, once you make the decision to have kids, you need to plan on a strategy to keep your energy up even if you are running on only a few hours of sporadic sleep. And you need to have that energy because the entire house responds to your positive (or negative) energy. If Mom is grumpy it is highly likely the kiddos will start quibbling with each other too. If Mom is patient and pleasant then it is more likely that the kids will be cheerful. There is no guarantee on this, but anecdotally, it totally works at our house.

My recommendation: one of the best ways you can take care of your kids is to take care of yourself. Make time for walking or even an exercise session a few times a week. Start your day with a protien shake and take a multi-vitamin. And to curb cravings take a B vitamin.

And when you are up late at night register for the Stay at Home Mom website and participate in the discussion group. Let us know how you are dealing with boyfriends and girlfriends holding hands with your darling darling, used to be your baby, but now is your teenager.

Keep your energy up. I think it is going to get easier when they get a little older but I’m not there yet. I’ll let you know when it gets easier.