You have probably seen this. You may have done this. The first time I saw this I was a little bit grossed out and thought "Oooh Ick". But apparently, I was wrong - well maybe.
A new research study is underway that is showing that perhaps Moms cleaning their baby's binkies by sucking on them first and "self-cleaning" may have some benefit for their kids. Maybe.
The research is early and the numbers of testers is still relatively small and to the researchers credit they say that this may or may not indicate a benefit. But the results at this preliminary stage are promising and worth considering.
The most important thing that has come out of this study, for me at least, is a reminder to all of us moms (and Non-moms) that we shouldn't stare at other moms with a judgemental eye when we see them doing something that we think We Would Never Do! It is one thing if it is down right harmful like hitting or shouting horrible things to their kids but if it is a diaper changing style, or something like self cleaning a binky, perhaps we should cut each other some slack.
As Stay at Home Moms we should support each other and encourage each other even if we would be doing things differently from each other.
Mother’s Day Resolutions- What I
Really Want for Mother’s Day
By: Jesseca Stenson
This will be my 5th Mother’s
Day, but only my 2nd as a stay at home mom. I struggled at
first after making the switch from working mom. To be honest, I felt
kind of lost. That’s why for this Mother’s Day, I’ve come up
with 5 things I really want that don’t cost a thing- and that I can
do for myself.
1. Make time for me:
I need to realize it’s ok to need a
break sometimes. Being a cook, maid, homework helper, toy finder,
schedule keeper, boo boo kisser, chauffer, dog walker, bath giver,
and everything else I manage to do can take its toll. I need to
pencil in some me time- whether it’s unwinding with a glass of
wine, dinner with friends (and no kids), exercising, or some guilty
pleasure TV watching. Needing a break doesn’t make me less of a
mom. In fact, recognizing I need some time alone makes me a better
2. Shut my phone off:
I also work from home on occasion, so
you can usually find me with my phone in my hand throughout the day.
I didn’t even realize it until one day my daughter drew a picture
of us, and sure enough, in my hand was her version of a cell phone.
Ouch. Every day I need to commit to a few “no phone” hours for my
sake and for my family.
3. See myself through my family’s
There is no harsher critic than we are
of ourselves. I need to understand that my 4 year old and my husband
are not judging me because I’m not 100% back to pre-baby weight, or
if dinner was later than usual or not planned out one night, and I
4.Spend time playing with my
At least 87 times a day my daughter
will ask me to play with her, usually when I’m in the middle of
doing something, which results in me saying “when I’m finished”
and which rarely ends up happening. I want to get in the habit of
saying “ok” instead and giving her my undivided attention. She
deserves that and so do I. The dishes can wait – she won’t be 4
5. Don’t take things (and myself)
Life is too short to stress about
things I don’t have any control over. Plus that stress makes me
grumpy and short tempered, and that’s not fair to anyone. I need to
learn to relax more, let things go, and live in the moment.
Jesseca Stenson is a freelance writer, wife, and mom, trying to save the sanity of parents everywhere, one article at a time. Follow her on Twitter @JNStenson.
One of our Stay at Home Mom Community moms on facebook wrote in with a question about what to do about Mommy Burnout. She has 3 kids with 2 of them being 3 year old twin boys. She doesn't have family around and so she is the only source of support.
Getting into a play group is ideal but if that is not possible here are a few other tips from some seasoned Stay at Home Moms:
Thank you so much for writing. Yes - we have been there. Even when you have alot of family around you can still have mommy burnout. There is nothing more active than twin 3 year old boys. One 3 year old boy can wear you out.
Stay as calm as you can - they can sense anxiety and they feed off of it like an energy source. The more calm you are the better.
They may seem little but include them in every chore. Get them putting dishes away - have them help you fold laundry - etc. This may seem like it takes more energy and on occasion dishes get broken and clothes get put away wrinkly but I am telling you it is WORTH it. Right now is the turning point - starting next year they will begin to develop their grown up memories and so if you start them out helping you with every chore they will never have a memory where this wasn't something they did. So many moms of teenagers write in asking how to get their teenager to clean their room and we ask them when they started asking them to clean their own room? The answer is usually around 10 or 11 but by them the kids remember mom doing it and so why should they?
Right now is probably the most challenging physically for you so make sure you are taking care of yourself. A glass of wine at night might sound good but you won't sleep as well - you will wake up way more rested if you have a nice chamomile tea (with a little sweetener) at night. Take care of yourself.
Have your boys do squats with you. Squats are the very best exercise for moms. Strengthens your legs and your core. Have the boys do this with you.
Make everything fun - You deserve it.
Then - join the conversation at http://gplus.to/stayathomemom and let us know how you are doing - what is working for you. We could have a moms of twins hangout over there and you can talk with other stay at home moms. It's OK if there are screaming children in the background.
Enjoy this time. It may seem exhausting but it also goes by really fast. Before you know it they will be off to school and then doing every sport and then off to college. It goes by fast.
Time and time again we hear from Mom's who have just come back from vacation and they say that they need a vacation from their vacation. It can be exhausting. As Mom's we work too hard day in and day out to then go on vacation and have to work even harder.
Can you be a "Stay at Home Mom" if you love to travel?
Many of my friends used to joke "How can you be a Stay at Home Mom - you're never at Home?". We do love to travel. But with four kids it's not always easy finding that family vacation that makes everyone happy. The other challenge of having four kids is that most motels accommodate up to 5 people in a room but not 6 and so we have to be careful about planning our stays so that we don't end up having to rent two rooms. When the kids were little we looked for places to stay that would have some amenities of home.
Our kids are older now but we still look for places to stay that are more like a Home away from Home with at least a kitchenette.
HUNGRY at the very WORST time
We love traveling with the kids but seriously - it can be a challenge. It seemed like there was a Murphy's Law of traveling with kids that said they won't be hungry when you're at the restaurant but they will be famished after you have just returned to the hotel room at the end of the day.
That is the main reason we love being able to bring microwave popcorn with us when traveling and have at least a mini fridge for cold drinks.
Facebook Group to help you find that Balance
Marriott Residence Inn has a new facebook group that is designed to help moms make their vacations a little more restful and pleasant for everyone in the family - including Mom. When I am planning a family vacation I have to consider what there is to do in the vacation area and whether that is going to be interesting to the 6 different people in our family. Then there are simple logistics to figure out. And finally I have to figure out if we can do all of that AND stay within the family vacation budget.
I consider it "Balance" when all of those components come together - Activity + Logistics + Budget = dream vacation.
This is what is great about the Residence Inn facebook group. You can ask questions of Mom's who have done this before and have come out the other end successfully.
Join Travelingmom.com on Monday May 6th for a #TMOM twitter party all about Finding Balance. Visit the website for more information and to RSVP.
The Twitter party on Monday is sponsored by Residence Inn and even though they are our sponsor all of my opinion and enthusiasm are my own.